Time and Faith
by khughes830
Summary: Post Ep - Conversion. How time and faith can heal anyone. One-shot. Barson moments.


Post eps really are my jam. I love extending an episode or a moment. And that line at the end about time and having faith between Olivia and Ann in Conversion stuck with him.

Plus, I have seen some posts on Tumblr about Olivia and faith. I don't think it's so out of the realm that she is a Christian and goes to church. I spent years as a social worker and read some horrible things. Plus, adding kids to your life changes your perspective. That being said, this is written by me and I do go to church. And I believe Olivia needs that in her life as well.

* * *

 **Time and Faith**

She does believe in God. She didn't for a long time. But then Noah was sent to her. That's the only way she can describe it. Noah was sent to her. She needed something else in her life. She didn't like who she was becoming – a jaded, exhausted workaholic. Noah was what she needed at that point. He brought her to a spot in her life that she never thought would exist. Plus, in her work – she needs to believe in good and grace and faith. Otherwise the darkness would consume her. And for Noah, she could never let that happen.

Did she get there as often as she would like? No. But she found the peace, the quiet, the serenity of it all to help her though her dark days, her dark cases. Like taking Ann to see Lucas before she left town. Watching them feel shame and sadness over what had happened and who they were trying to deny they were. They had a bond. A bond they were told was shameful. Her God – the one she gave her faith to – she knows her God would never want innocent kids to feel shame about their lives. Lord knows she has enough shame and guilt to go around.

She sat in the quiet of her office, looking out the window on to the city. She needed to get home to Noah, to give Lucy a break. But she needed a moment. She was finding she needed more and more of those after a difficult case, or a difficult decision, or a difficult road to navigate. There had been so many times of late – the hard cases, the decision to break up with Ed, trying to figure out how to repair her and Barba after all the secrets and non-lies. She found the only way through was to have grace and faith.

"Penny for your thoughts" she heard from behind her. She smiled at the reflection of his outline in the window. Without even looking at him, she knew he was leaning against her doorframe, legs crossed, briefcase in one hand, the other hand shoved in his pocket.

"Do you believe that time and faith can heal all wounds?"

"I like to think so."

She turned toward him, looking at him in a way she didn't normally allow. "Even the wounds that cut very deep? The ones that breed anger and mistrust?" He shook his head. "Liv…"

"No" she said, pushing her out of the chair. "I need to know. I need to know if you believe that… anyone… can come back from that kind of place. That any two people can find a place of happiness and peace after they have been awful to each other." She had moved closer to him, finally leaning her back against the door frame. They were close, but not touching.

"Are we talking about Ann and Lucas?"

"What if we aren't." He stared at her. Hard. "I never hated you. I could never hate you" he said, barely above a whisper. She looked out across her squad room. They were in that transition time where the daytime crew, including her detectives, had left for the day, but the overnight officers hadn't yet made it to their desks. She could feel the tears and relief fill up in her eyes. She thought about turning away, trying to compose herself, but she decided instead to have faith and stop fighting. So, she looked at him with all the feeling she felt right there in her eyes and on her face. She could tell he was surprised she was being so honest. So open.

"There have been days it sure felt like it". She watched him turn away from her for a moment. Then he dropped his bag and leaned forward, resting his free hand against the door frame right near her face. She could feel the heat of his arm on her face. It took all her willpower not to lean in, not to rest her cheek on his arm.

"Olivia, of all the things I feel for you – and trust me, there are a lot of them – hate could never, ever possibly be one of them. Have faith in that."

"Why? I've asked stupid things of you. I've kept things from you. I've given you every reason to…"

"And yet here I stand, telling you that I never could. Because the funny thing about time is that it gives you a perspective that is hard to have in the heat of the moment. That what felt like what needed to be done in the moment…" he trailed off. She felt his arm tighten and she knew he was gripping the door frame harder. She took a deep breath and fell back on faith as she raised her hand, resting it lightly on his cheek, running her thumb over his face, the feel of his stubble rough against her skin. She watched his eyes dilate slightly and felt him catch his breath. Her faith about what is good and right in her world propelled her slightly forward, catching his lips with hers. A light, chaste, amazing kiss. She pulled back and knew that by the look on his face that faith and time is everything they had needed to get to this point.

"Come home with me" she whispered. He smiled slightly, pulling his hand out of his pocket and resting it on her hip.

"How about I get you home and we table the rest of it for a later date." Her eyes got wide, worried for a moment that she had crossed some line he had no interest in.

"Stop thinking, Olivia. Time and faith. We will get there. That much I can promise you." She nodded and gathered her things. The elevator doors closed and she leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder. Time and faith would get them to where they needed to be. She believed him on that.


End file.
